I've been spending an abnormal amount of time thinking about adulthood. Maybe I have too much time on my hands. Most likely it's because my 26th birthday is around the corner.
Take today for example. I wanted a Diet Coke and a black and white cookie for breakfast. Instead, I had some fiber-enhanced, reduced-fat granola bar. (And a Diet Coke, because I am not made of stone. Though I am made of caffeine, and need to keep my levels up.) And as I was sitting at my desk checking email and eating my over-processed, neatly packaged breakfast, I remembered that when I grew up I was going to have ice cream at every meal. I'd have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My entire life, when I was an adult, would be perfect because it would be all about ice cream (manicures and R-rated movies, too).
This is pretty standard for kids, right? The "just-you-wait-until-I-am-grown-up-and-can-do-anything-I-want" attitude. Being an adult is going to rule! And for the most part, being an adult pretty much does rule.
It turns out having ice cream every day all day for the rest of my life is much more complicated than I anticipated, however. It seemed that once I moved out and started paying my own bills, I would step right inside the free-for-all arena that is adulthood where everything goes around and then comes back around again.
What a shock to learn that there are restrictions, and they're not all external. It's not just the rules of adult society -- the ones that say you have to get up and go to work every morning and stand in line at the post office and drive at a reasonable speed. It seems the majority of the restrictions are internal. Mostly what keeps me out of ice cream alley is the way that being an adult means you... act like an adult. You take responsibility for your health and your well-being. You iron your clothes and buy antibacterial soap. I know that endless ice cream is no way to live; staying up all night is totally awesome except for when you have to go to work the next day; and folding the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer is always the better decision.
This isn't the way adulthood should be run. I saw grown-ups doing the boring adult things, and I thought they were doing it wrong. They weren't taking advantage of their advantages. And then you grow up, and it is, unexpectedly, the best thing in the world, when you are responsible and make the right decisions. When you take care of yourself, when you exercise and floss and recycle and donate to NPR.
So, annnnnnnyyways. I was planning to say something about being ready for my birthday, but every way I phrased it seemed silly (kind of like this entire post). But, I've already written it and don't plan to look back. I'll conclude the rambling with my four goals for 26... 1. become more like Mom and Dad (like telling others what I plan to eat -- see breakfast story above. I tease, I tease :)), 2. figure out what I want to be when I grow up, 3. try a little harder, 4. and eat alot more ice cream.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Oogley Googley
Periodic Googling is a very necessary slacker activity. Don't worry, I’ve saved you the trouble and Googled you myself...
Uncle Dave is off making LGBT headway in Irish politics. Oh, and he's rockin’ a sweet bluegrass mullet.
Mom gave $50 to the Republican Party in 2004 and she blogs about my second favorite uncle, Chuck. (for 1st, see above)
Greg assesses life cycles (nerd) and promotes his reggae music with Glamour Shots taken circa 1992.
Buster reincarnated into an industrial brush rotor salesman.
Oliver is staying busy between feedings as a figure in the British Libertarian party. Johnny Fancy Pants, er diaper.
Yours truly has questionable poetry skillz (and mastery of the English language -- note all of the “yours” and “its”). I also have a Welsh accent and starred in the 1984 movie “Party Games for Adults Only.” Classy.
Uncle Dave is off making LGBT headway in Irish politics. Oh, and he's rockin’ a sweet bluegrass mullet.
Mom gave $50 to the Republican Party in 2004 and she blogs about my second favorite uncle, Chuck. (for 1st, see above)
Greg assesses life cycles (nerd) and promotes his reggae music with Glamour Shots taken circa 1992.
Buster reincarnated into an industrial brush rotor salesman.
Oliver is staying busy between feedings as a figure in the British Libertarian party. Johnny Fancy Pants, er diaper.
Yours truly has questionable poetry skillz (and mastery of the English language -- note all of the “yours” and “its”). I also have a Welsh accent and starred in the 1984 movie “Party Games for Adults Only.” Classy.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Because Countdowns Are Cool
20. I saw my favorite Home Depot paint lady at the gym.
19. I slept in ‘til 7 this morning. Awesomeness.
18. A Blackberry showed up on my desk earlier this week. I’ve officially joined the ranks of corporate tools.
17. Tuesday, my J&J client sent a note (via an old coworker) that included, and I quote – “Leslie Norris was the best account person we’ve had on this business.” Take that Kathy.
16. I’ve decided that I want wallpaper in my room.
15. Houston needs to strap its electricity boots on because Mom and Dad are missing Mad Men.
14. Let the 6 week vacay countdown begin.
13. I’m pretty sure I saw Alec Baldwin with a mullet doing road construction in the Greenwich Village.
12. It’s starting to get cold again and I’m not very happy about it.
11. Saatchi was cut from the Home Depot pitch. Everyone can calm down.
10. The guy behind me has been on a four hour conference call about poop. Literally. What happens in Pampers, stays in Pampers.
9. The Construction Workers’ Union offered me a donut yesterday morning.
8. I accidentally took a gypsy cab home from the airport.
7. I’m inadvertently wearing a blue shirt and black pants today. This is better than the mismatched shoes that happened a few months ago. Maybe one day I’ll be a graceful, put-together person.
6. After looking at my 401K, I’m considering stuffing all of my money in my mattress.
5. Chuck Norris for president!
4. My brother writes really good wedding speeches.
3. I read an article in SELF and was inspired to cut my own bangs. Never trust articles in SELF.
2. My sore throat went away! Yay!!
1. I miss having a dog.
19. I slept in ‘til 7 this morning. Awesomeness.
18. A Blackberry showed up on my desk earlier this week. I’ve officially joined the ranks of corporate tools.
17. Tuesday, my J&J client sent a note (via an old coworker) that included, and I quote – “Leslie Norris was the best account person we’ve had on this business.” Take that Kathy.
16. I’ve decided that I want wallpaper in my room.
15. Houston needs to strap its electricity boots on because Mom and Dad are missing Mad Men.
14. Let the 6 week vacay countdown begin.
13. I’m pretty sure I saw Alec Baldwin with a mullet doing road construction in the Greenwich Village.
12. It’s starting to get cold again and I’m not very happy about it.
11. Saatchi was cut from the Home Depot pitch. Everyone can calm down.
10. The guy behind me has been on a four hour conference call about poop. Literally. What happens in Pampers, stays in Pampers.
9. The Construction Workers’ Union offered me a donut yesterday morning.
8. I accidentally took a gypsy cab home from the airport.
7. I’m inadvertently wearing a blue shirt and black pants today. This is better than the mismatched shoes that happened a few months ago. Maybe one day I’ll be a graceful, put-together person.
6. After looking at my 401K, I’m considering stuffing all of my money in my mattress.
5. Chuck Norris for president!
4. My brother writes really good wedding speeches.
3. I read an article in SELF and was inspired to cut my own bangs. Never trust articles in SELF.
2. My sore throat went away! Yay!!
1. I miss having a dog.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Four More Reasons
Four more reasons I have a great job...
1. We let our clients pretend to be cool.
Every month or so Saatchi distributes a CD of what’s new/cool/approachable/usable in music to its clients. We get them for free and my iPod is always very thankful.
2. We started with art.
Charles Saatchi is a renowned art collector. Amidst the giant posters of Count Chocula and Trix the Rabbit, there is a lot of modern art hung around the agency. Side note -- I noticed last week that the fairly innocuous print in the hallway across from my desk has a naughty signature in the lower right corner. I hope my VERY conservative Midwestern clients don’t notice.
3. We encourage creativity in creative ways.
Musicians are brought in for lunchtime performances. There was a Magnum Photography exhibit in our hallways. Currently there is a Mary Ping pop-up store in our atrium.
4. We are rethinking the environmental movement.
Saatchi Blue
1. We let our clients pretend to be cool.
Every month or so Saatchi distributes a CD of what’s new/cool/approachable/usable in music to its clients. We get them for free and my iPod is always very thankful.
2. We started with art.
Charles Saatchi is a renowned art collector. Amidst the giant posters of Count Chocula and Trix the Rabbit, there is a lot of modern art hung around the agency. Side note -- I noticed last week that the fairly innocuous print in the hallway across from my desk has a naughty signature in the lower right corner. I hope my VERY conservative Midwestern clients don’t notice.
3. We encourage creativity in creative ways.
Musicians are brought in for lunchtime performances. There was a Magnum Photography exhibit in our hallways. Currently there is a Mary Ping pop-up store in our atrium.
4. We are rethinking the environmental movement.
Saatchi Blue
Friday, September 5, 2008
9 to 5 (er 8:30 to 7)
Most of my work-related posts involve me complaining about the long hours or my annoying co-workers. I thought it was time that I bragged a bit about my super cool job. I can’t tell you everything (stinkin’ confidentiality agreement) over the blog, but since this is a private site, I think I’m safe sharing a lil’.
For my portion of the business (Yellow Box, Multigrain, and New Products), we have eight new TV spots in various stages of production:
- Our “Nations Challenge” spot just came off air and was hugely successful. 500,000 people have visited the Web site and more than half of those have signed up. It was even ranked by Neilson as one of the most liked spots of the month.
- Two Yellow Box spots are in consumer testing right now. This is an uber-painful process where we let Joe America tell us if we’ve made a good commercial or not. Results are due back in two weeks. Then we jump into what we call full-up production –- think directors, craft service, SAG, Los Angeles. One of these spots includes a 2-year-old. How we expect to get a toddler to deliver lines, I’m not sure. The other is this rad mix of live action and animation. The latter will take a lot less time up-front, but post-production will be strenuous. General Mills legal has "expressed concern" with this concept, so I anticipate a lot of fun lawyer meetings in my near future.
- We just wrapped production on an election-themed spot that is going on air in November –- wahoo! And, we have three more in that campaign that will run as part of promotional deal we signed with The Biggest Loser. I had a conference call with one of the show’s producers last week and got a little insider info on the upcoming season. I was in reality TV heaven.
- We are in the middle of production for a :05 spot (we call these tags) for a November promotion. This spot is a mix of illustration and CGI – expensive, but hopefully worth it.
- The newest project on the radar is a social marketing spot that will run in February. I saw the creative for the first time last night. This project had a rocky start (all first round creative was killed), but I think the new stuff is really strong. The accelerated timeline is giving me heart palpitations, but these things always have a way of working themselves out.
- We have two new Multigrain TV concept spots that just came out of testing with very few battle scars. We are making a few tweaks and then sending them off for a round of quant research. If only they spent all this research money on production!
- Finally, we sold through two potential ideas for a new product launch in February. I’m flying to Minneapolis next week to sit in on the first round of testing. Wish us luck!
So, that’s what takes up most of my day. The other part is filled with editing Johnny Wordy (AKA the Cheerios assistant account executive), IM’ing my brother, listening to French techno music in my neighbor's cubical, and planning the 2009 Costa Rica adventure. While I’m constantly considering what my life would have been if I had pursued another profession, I know I have it pretty good.
Happy Friday!
For my portion of the business (Yellow Box, Multigrain, and New Products), we have eight new TV spots in various stages of production:
- Our “Nations Challenge” spot just came off air and was hugely successful. 500,000 people have visited the Web site and more than half of those have signed up. It was even ranked by Neilson as one of the most liked spots of the month.
- Two Yellow Box spots are in consumer testing right now. This is an uber-painful process where we let Joe America tell us if we’ve made a good commercial or not. Results are due back in two weeks. Then we jump into what we call full-up production –- think directors, craft service, SAG, Los Angeles. One of these spots includes a 2-year-old. How we expect to get a toddler to deliver lines, I’m not sure. The other is this rad mix of live action and animation. The latter will take a lot less time up-front, but post-production will be strenuous. General Mills legal has "expressed concern" with this concept, so I anticipate a lot of fun lawyer meetings in my near future.
- We just wrapped production on an election-themed spot that is going on air in November –- wahoo! And, we have three more in that campaign that will run as part of promotional deal we signed with The Biggest Loser. I had a conference call with one of the show’s producers last week and got a little insider info on the upcoming season. I was in reality TV heaven.
- We are in the middle of production for a :05 spot (we call these tags) for a November promotion. This spot is a mix of illustration and CGI – expensive, but hopefully worth it.
- The newest project on the radar is a social marketing spot that will run in February. I saw the creative for the first time last night. This project had a rocky start (all first round creative was killed), but I think the new stuff is really strong. The accelerated timeline is giving me heart palpitations, but these things always have a way of working themselves out.
- We have two new Multigrain TV concept spots that just came out of testing with very few battle scars. We are making a few tweaks and then sending them off for a round of quant research. If only they spent all this research money on production!
- Finally, we sold through two potential ideas for a new product launch in February. I’m flying to Minneapolis next week to sit in on the first round of testing. Wish us luck!
So, that’s what takes up most of my day. The other part is filled with editing Johnny Wordy (AKA the Cheerios assistant account executive), IM’ing my brother, listening to French techno music in my neighbor's cubical, and planning the 2009 Costa Rica adventure. While I’m constantly considering what my life would have been if I had pursued another profession, I know I have it pretty good.
Happy Friday!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
How to Succeed in Advertising
To: Sally Slacker
From: Your 17th floor Hallmate
Date: September 4, 2008
Re: Getting on Leslie’s Nerves
The purpose of this memo is to bring to your attention my concerns with your blatant office inappropriateness. It is my sincere hope that by implementing the changes requested below, you will cease annoying me quite so badly.
1. Seeing as my cubicle has been conveniently positioned directly outside your fancy window office for the last three months, I would appreciate you taking a moment to introduce yourself, say good morning, or simply acknowledge my lowly AE presence.
2. Please restrict your tireless search for the snobbiest, overpriced private school in New York City to your lunch hour. Between your endless conversations with preschool recruitment offices and your office neighbor who chooses to watch YouTube videos at full volume, it is very difficult to do my job with any effectiveness.
3. I’ve noticed you leaving everyday at 3:30PM despite your transparent efforts to make it seem like you are just away from your desk –- not shutting down your computer, keeping a sweater thrown over your chair, keeping your office door open and a coffee cup out on your desk. Cheaters never win. Well, sometimes they do. But, then they eventually lose. Most of the time.
4. Simply because you have a normal named spelled totally weird does not excuse your poor office behavior.
5. Banning interns from speaking to you is not generally the best way to cultivate talent in this industry. Forcing your subordinates to listen to your political word vomit does not make you a good manager either.
6. I would appreciate if you would resist having your afternoon phone calls with your boyfriend on speaker phone. I’m not particularly concerned about your weekend plans in Montauk.
7. Eat a sandwich.
Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to these requests. Further questions or comments should be directed to graham_babin@hotmail.com.
Sincerely,
Cubicle 17.254
From: Your 17th floor Hallmate
Date: September 4, 2008
Re: Getting on Leslie’s Nerves
The purpose of this memo is to bring to your attention my concerns with your blatant office inappropriateness. It is my sincere hope that by implementing the changes requested below, you will cease annoying me quite so badly.
1. Seeing as my cubicle has been conveniently positioned directly outside your fancy window office for the last three months, I would appreciate you taking a moment to introduce yourself, say good morning, or simply acknowledge my lowly AE presence.
2. Please restrict your tireless search for the snobbiest, overpriced private school in New York City to your lunch hour. Between your endless conversations with preschool recruitment offices and your office neighbor who chooses to watch YouTube videos at full volume, it is very difficult to do my job with any effectiveness.
3. I’ve noticed you leaving everyday at 3:30PM despite your transparent efforts to make it seem like you are just away from your desk –- not shutting down your computer, keeping a sweater thrown over your chair, keeping your office door open and a coffee cup out on your desk. Cheaters never win. Well, sometimes they do. But, then they eventually lose. Most of the time.
4. Simply because you have a normal named spelled totally weird does not excuse your poor office behavior.
5. Banning interns from speaking to you is not generally the best way to cultivate talent in this industry. Forcing your subordinates to listen to your political word vomit does not make you a good manager either.
6. I would appreciate if you would resist having your afternoon phone calls with your boyfriend on speaker phone. I’m not particularly concerned about your weekend plans in Montauk.
7. Eat a sandwich.
Thank you in advance for your prompt attention to these requests. Further questions or comments should be directed to graham_babin@hotmail.com.
Sincerely,
Cubicle 17.254
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Bye Bye Summer
I had four glorious days free of my natural light-less, stress headache-inducing office. The days were busy, but mostly unproductive. And in the spirit of unproductivity, I’m going to tell you all about it:
Friday
When I was moving to Austin, Amanda imparted one of the most useful big sister tips of my college career: go to the mall in the middle of the day. There are many reasons that I came to love mid-week, daytime mall visits –- for example, you exponentially increase your chances of encountering mall walkers and helpful employees. Mall walkers rock my world.
I public-transportationed-it to the very unremarkable mall in Jersey City. I perused the Macy’s shoe department with a slowness known only to the first day of a four day weekend. The salesperson watched me in semi-disgust as I heaped an obnoxious number of display shoes into my arms. My final selection was an overpriced, uber-cool pair of peep toe wedges that I rationalized trying on just for fun. As expected, “just for fun” turned into “put it on my card.” Don’t get me wrong –- they weren’t THAT expensive. It’s just that my footwear purchases are generally limited to the sales rack at DSW. Did I mention how much I love these shoes?
One quick NJ-light rail ride back to Hoboken brought me back to my frugal reality. I spent my afternoon doing everything one should avoid on a day off from work –- grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and a trip to the gym. Sarah interrupted my state of domestic goddessness to see if I wanted to meet her and her sister Corey for dinner. I got sufficiently un-smelly and ended the night reminiscing about how nice Corey was to me when I was a lowly high school freshman.
Saturday
Football. Football. Football. Class at the gym. Shower. Football. Train into the City. Football. Football. Train home. Football overload.
Sunday
Corey, Sarah, Andrea and I celebrated the official end of summer with a finale trip to the Jersey shore. It was a bit packed with over-tattooed, hyper-tanned meatheads for my taste, but the weather was gorgeous and the water was warm-ish. I think I finally mastered the art of sunscreen application because I escaped without any weird red blotches. Hopefully I will retain that skill for summer ’09. The beach was followed by church, Mad Men, and the pure glee of it being the eve of another day off work.
Monday
I felt victorious that I had mostly avoided real clothes all weekend. I thought I would continue the streak and agreed to go with Jesse to her family’s swim club. Swim clubs are a totally weird northerner thing. They are kind of like joining a country club, but all you get is a neighborhood pool. Andrea drove us to Jesse’s hometown about 30 minutes from Hoboken. While Jesse and Andrea debated the superiority of North vs. South Jersey, I daydreamed of Sugar Land (which I am certain would win over the entire state of NJ any day of the week). I read most of a book, witnessed Jesse’s famous back dive, and lounged around the pool with a least 20 potbellied old guys that I swear were straight off a Sopranos' set.
Now it's back to the reality of 5:30AM alarms and pants without elastic waists. My holiday is officially over.
Friday
When I was moving to Austin, Amanda imparted one of the most useful big sister tips of my college career: go to the mall in the middle of the day. There are many reasons that I came to love mid-week, daytime mall visits –- for example, you exponentially increase your chances of encountering mall walkers and helpful employees. Mall walkers rock my world.
I public-transportationed-it to the very unremarkable mall in Jersey City. I perused the Macy’s shoe department with a slowness known only to the first day of a four day weekend. The salesperson watched me in semi-disgust as I heaped an obnoxious number of display shoes into my arms. My final selection was an overpriced, uber-cool pair of peep toe wedges that I rationalized trying on just for fun. As expected, “just for fun” turned into “put it on my card.” Don’t get me wrong –- they weren’t THAT expensive. It’s just that my footwear purchases are generally limited to the sales rack at DSW. Did I mention how much I love these shoes?
One quick NJ-light rail ride back to Hoboken brought me back to my frugal reality. I spent my afternoon doing everything one should avoid on a day off from work –- grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, and a trip to the gym. Sarah interrupted my state of domestic goddessness to see if I wanted to meet her and her sister Corey for dinner. I got sufficiently un-smelly and ended the night reminiscing about how nice Corey was to me when I was a lowly high school freshman.
Saturday
Football. Football. Football. Class at the gym. Shower. Football. Train into the City. Football. Football. Train home. Football overload.
Sunday
Corey, Sarah, Andrea and I celebrated the official end of summer with a finale trip to the Jersey shore. It was a bit packed with over-tattooed, hyper-tanned meatheads for my taste, but the weather was gorgeous and the water was warm-ish. I think I finally mastered the art of sunscreen application because I escaped without any weird red blotches. Hopefully I will retain that skill for summer ’09. The beach was followed by church, Mad Men, and the pure glee of it being the eve of another day off work.
Monday
I felt victorious that I had mostly avoided real clothes all weekend. I thought I would continue the streak and agreed to go with Jesse to her family’s swim club. Swim clubs are a totally weird northerner thing. They are kind of like joining a country club, but all you get is a neighborhood pool. Andrea drove us to Jesse’s hometown about 30 minutes from Hoboken. While Jesse and Andrea debated the superiority of North vs. South Jersey, I daydreamed of Sugar Land (which I am certain would win over the entire state of NJ any day of the week). I read most of a book, witnessed Jesse’s famous back dive, and lounged around the pool with a least 20 potbellied old guys that I swear were straight off a Sopranos' set.
Now it's back to the reality of 5:30AM alarms and pants without elastic waists. My holiday is officially over.
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