I blame it on college. And, also on graduate school and a wedding that followed. I blame it on the next two years of my life that demanded moving to a new city and starting a new job and then starting another new job and then cleaning up the mess of a broken relationship. The next year was a cross-country move and two more jobs and learning to appreciate crowds, public laundromats, bodegas, and walking.
The dust cleared about six months ago. Life has become efficient. I have a routine. I even bought a set of pots and pans. This is a serious purchase for a couple of reasons, 1. Having stuff makes moving harder and the less I resist buying things the more I let go of the constant urge to pick up and move on, 2. The only thing Z wanted when I left Dallas was our pots and pans. It sounds silly, but replacing these felt, well, weird. So, now that I have a nice apartment and a stable and engaging job and a set of pots and pans, I’m... bored.
In this boredom-induced haze, I’ve found myself looking up post-graduate programs at Columbia, real estate in Texas and international volunteer opportunities. I’ve signed up for weekend classes at the gym, went to New York Cares orientation, downloaded Spanish podcasts and even applied for a library card.
I make plans with friends and go running and cook and travel and write all about it on this blog. But, I’m not busy. Not the kind of busy I was a few years ago -- the kind of edge-of-the-cliff-there’s-not-nearly-enough-time-for-that-sorry-I-can’t-talk-right-now kind of busy. I suppose this is the time in people’s lives when they manufacture busyness with marriage and home ownership and puppies and babies (in that order, of course). But, I don’t particularly want any of those things. So, where does that leave me?
Writing blogs about boredom -- that’s where.
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3 comments:
I spent the last 3.5 hours (family in bed) with a few adult beverages, watching TV shows off the TiVo (HD programming first... it takes up the most space), adding album covers to my iTunes library, watching MNF (little TVs... not the main one of course) to finish updating my Pick'em League website, and reading your blog.
We are all blessed... Perspective I guess ;)
A boredom blessing? Sigh. I suppose. I think you are better at being idle than I am. That is, if two kids under the age of 3 counts as being idle.
When your blog starts looking like this, then I'll start worrying. Until then, I'll keep trying to convince you that things are probably going a lot better than you think they are!
ps - you can thank me for your future blog entry title "My Boredom Blessing"
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